Trauma Chats with MacKenzie Mae

Navigating Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Triggers

February 14, 2023 MacKenzie Mae Episode 2
Trauma Chats with MacKenzie Mae
Navigating Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Triggers
Show Notes Transcript

Sexual trauma survivors can experience many long-term impacts, one of those being anxiety, which is commonly accompanied by panic attacks and triggers. Listen to learn what anxiety, panic attacks, and triggers really are, how a fellow survivor has navigated this long-term impact, and detailed coping mechanisms to reduce anxiety in your healing journey! Find additional information on anxiety, panic attacks, triggers, coping mechanisms, healing and more here!! https://saprea.org/ 

Healing requires energy, vulnerability, and hard work. It’s a lifelong journey and it's never linear. Whatever season you're in on your healing journey, hold on to hope. <3

I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!
Love,
MacKenzie Mae


For help NOW!
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE

For boys and men specifically: 1-800-656-4673

More resources here! https://linktr.ee/traumachatspodcast

In today’s episode, I will be chatting about a common impact of sexual abuse: anxiety disorders which can be accompanied by panic attacks. I will also be touching on triggers which are often anxiety inducing and can lead to panic attacks in survivors.

Quick disclaimer, I am not a mental health professional. I am sharing my personal experiences and information I’ve learned throughout my healing journey. 

Before we get too deep, let’s learn the definition of anxiety, panic attacks, and triggers, common feelings they cause, and why they are a common impact on trauma survivors. I am using information found from Saprea, which is a charity seeking to liberate individuals and society from child sexual abuse and its lasting impacts by offering support, prevention, and education. The link to this site can be found in the episode description. 

According to Saprea, anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of dread, apprehension, tension, or worry. It can also be described as the mental and physical anticipation of a negative result. Common feelings of anxiety are anticipation, restlessness, nervousness, and the urge to escape or avoid. Anxiety can also come with physical sensations which can be an increased heart rate, perspiration, insomnia, stomach problems, trembling, and difficulty concentrating. Survivors commonly experience this impact due to the trauma they endure that can scar their limbic system, the part of the brain that supports emotion, memory, and behavior. The traumatic experiences cause the limbic system to remain in a state of alertness, bracing for any perceived danger or threat, even after the trauma or abuse has ended. This constant state of hypervigilance can cause a survivor to feel chronically unsafe which may manifest as anxiety. Moments of severe anxious feelings can even cause panic attacks, which are sudden episodes of intense fear when there is no real danger or threat. Panic attacks can physically manifest into increased heart rate, shortness of breath, dizziness, upset stomach, shaking, chest tightness, feelings of having no control, and many other potential effects. Some people who experience panic attacks describe them as feeling like a heart attack. Trauma survivors commonly experience panic attacks if they are triggered by something that reminds them of their abuse. Triggers are instances when an individual physically or emotionally reacts to something that relates to the trauma they endured. They can present themselves in many ways. Seeing the place where a survivor was abused or seeing their abuser are obvious triggers, but they can also be a song that reminds the survivor of their abuse, or an activity, a smell, a texture, a feeling, and the list goes on. Anxiety and the fear of having a panic attack can also cause survivors to base everyday decisions on trying to avoid the anxiety or panic attacks, immensely impacting their quality of life. If anyone listening can relate to what I just covered, I feel for you, but hold on to hope because, fortunately, anxiety disorders can be treated! Therapy, in some cases medication, mindfulness activities, exercise, and other coping mechanisms can be used to reduce anxiety. So if you are experiencing severe anxiety or panic attacks, please consult a medical professional to help treat it and take your life back! Take it from a fellow survivor, the effort it takes to treat mental disorders and trauma impacts is beyond worth it. Over time, the growth will be so substantial, and you truly will take back your life. I promise you, it’s worth it!

Most people experience anxious thoughts at some point in their life for various reasons. Maybe for a big project deadline, if they find themselves in an environment they feel unsafe in, or they’re meeting a new person for the first time. Those types of anxious thoughts are common and can actually be helpful to finish something before a deadline or get yourself out of an unsafe environment. In the case of feeling anxious of meeting a new person, I try to reframe that thought of feeling nervous or anxious to feeling excited. In fact, the physical feelings of nervousness and excitement are the same, so maybe you indeed are just excited from a biological perspective! 

 Before my abuse, I had those typical mild anxious thoughts that came off as being nervous for an upcoming tournament for example, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Anxiety becomes an issue when it develops into continuous severe anxious thoughts that prevent you from living your life or cause you to have panic attacks. The feeling of suffocation, your chest tightening, your heart racing, tears rushing down your face, palms sweating, hyperventilating, and unable to sooth yourself to stop the attack. After my abuse began, I started feeling that way. 

In 2011, the year before I disclosed my abuse, I was 11 or 12 years old laying on the couch in my parent’s room watching the Disney movie, Dadnapped when suddenly I began to feel like I was suffocating, my heart started racing, and overwhelming panic set in. I was worried something was horribly wrong with me. I was panicking so much, my parents ended up taking me to the emergency room. The next thing I knew I was being covered in stickers attached to some kind of machine wondering if my heartbeat was ever going to slow down, or if I was going to die. I was hooked up to an EKG so they could examine my heartbeat and determine what was going on. They didn’t find anything irregular that night though, so they referred me to get an echo, or an ultrasound of the heart. The echo I received a few days later showed no irregularities or concerns either. No further testing was completed. The medical professionals just instructed me to monitor my symptoms and come back if something similar occurred again. That feeling has come back again and again throughout my life, and I now know that ER experience was the aftermath of my first ever panic attack. Like I mentioned before, many people who suffer from panic attacks can mistake them for a heart attack or some other life-threatening event. One can imagine how terrifying it is to think you’re literally going to die. The good thing though is you can’t die from panic attacks. They are temporary and they will eventually pass. If you are around someone experiencing a panic attack, keep this in mind. They may sound like they’re overreacting to you, but for them, they are in full panic mode potentially fearing for their life. In my personal experience, the best way for someone who is around me during a panic attack to support me, is by telling me I am safe and helping me focus on my breath. Almost all my panic attacks have consisted of looping thoughts that spiral out of control, so having someone help me focus on my breath can get me out of my head and into my body to slow my heart rate, release the feeling of suffocation, and bring me out of the attack. If you struggle from panic attacks, know they are temporary, and there are many coping mechanisms to help you through them. I’ll go over the coping mechanisms that have helped me later in the episode. 

For many survivors, the worst anxiety transpires after the abuse ends. For me, during the abuse, overtime I could predict when the abuse would happen and when I would be in an unsafe environment. Before those unfortunate moments, I would internally scream and cry for help, but unable to let out a sound. My heart would begin to race, my chest would tighten, and my body would begin to sweat. Somehow my strong 9 through 13 year old self managed to get past those moments masking my anxiety in fear showing it would upset my abuser and exacerbate the abuse. 

After the abuse, Thomas, my abuser, wasn’t convicted or arrested, and he had countless bystanders and enablers supporting him. I never knew if or when I would encounter any of the people who betrayed me. It’s like anywhere you go, you could run into someone who could trigger the trauma all over again. I’ll be making an episode specifically about bystanders and enablers in the future to dive deeper into those who choose to be complicit when they are notified of abuse and the unfortunate impact that has on survivors. Many survivors that I’ve met have expressed similar feelings regarding anxiety after disclosing and how difficult it is to continue living in the same community they were abused in. 

Remember, a survivor can be triggered by anything that reminds them of their abuse, so of course being in the same environment that abuse took place will be littered with anxiety-inducing triggers. 

That is the reason I think sometimes the worst anxiety transpires after disclosing. The survivors is no longer able to predict when they will be unsafe, putting them in a constant state of fear. In my case, now it wasn’t only Thomas that triggered my anxiety, but it was all the people who didn’t believe I was abused, who blamed me for ruining Thomas’ career or their ability to be trained by him, and/or believed I made it all up. It was the environmental triggers of locations I was abused. It was songs. It was flashbacks. It was the sight of any van similar to his. It was eating certain foods. It was any bald person. Additionally, I chose to continue taekwondo for a year after disclosing my abuse, which presented the most triggers.  

I remember being at tournaments and seeing people who still trained with him who used to be my role models and friends. They would either ignore me or glare at me in an attempt to shame me from a distance. One time, Thomas showed up at a tournament that he knew I was attending. It was incredibly triggering. My parents were enraged, and the police showed up because I had a restraining order against him. It caused a huge scene that was humiliating for me at the time in front of all my current teammates and past peers. This caused severe anxiety wondering if I would have to endure that again at future tournaments. On top of that, I couldn’t train at my main studio since I was molested countless times there, which was yet again a massive trigger. I had worked so hard for nearly 10 years to get to the level I was at in taekwondo, but the anxiety I was experiencing from the never-ending triggers in my environment was destroying my mental health. So, I was forced to quit the sport that meant the absolute world to me and gave up my dream of being an Olympian. I still find myself saddened by the fact my taekwondo career was stolen from me. I have consistently thought about the what ifs throughout the years. What if I continued and ended up becoming an Olympian? What if I just stuck it out a little longer and found the strength to continue? What if the abuse never happened? Where would I be at today? But I have found there is no use in asking what ifs. There is no way to answer them which means it's not productive to focus on them. In every life decision, each of us choose a path that is decided by the version of us we were at the time of the decision. We try to make our best judgement calls with the information we have and the capacity we encompass at the time the decision must be made. So, when reflecting on the past, it doesn’t matter what decision the current version of you would’ve made, because that version wasn’t present at the time of the decision. I try to remember this when reflecting on my own past, especially when it comes to the decision I made to end my taekwondo career. I know that version of myself did what she needed to do to feel safe and minimize harm, and I’m proud of her for making that choice. For anyone listening who finds themselves focusing on the what ifs or has regrets on past decisions, try taking the perspective of: you did the best you could with the information you had and the capacity within you at that time.

The summer after I turned 16 was filled with panic attacks. If I was alone at any capacity, anxious thoughts would infiltrate my mind. I cried myself to sleep most nights. For a while I was anxious to sleep because I would have nightmares of confronting my abuser, of finding out he abused another child, or of vivid flashbacks of my abuse. This is commonly known as post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, which is another common impact survivors of sexual abuse experience. This is when an individual has disturbing, intense thoughts and feelings related to the trauma they experienced. It can present itself in nightmares or flashbacks during any time of day. I used to struggle with nightmares a lot growing up. Over time, the nightmares have faded, but flashbacks have remained present. Just like anxiety disorders, PTSD is also a treatable disorder! Through the healing and therapy I’ve done, I’ve learned how to shut down the sudden flashbacks quicker, lessening the affect they have on me, and like I said I don’t have nightmares anymore!

So, as I mentioned before, the locations where abuse took place are typically massive triggers for survivors. Visually witnessing the place one was abused can cause instantaneous recollections of the abuse and quickly retraumatize the survivor. I remember shortly after getting my driver’s license, I was driving down the road I had been molested on numerous times. I was still learning the roads and didn’t realize I was driving down that particular road until I was severely triggered when passing the pull off area nestled into the woods where my abuser would molest me in the back of his van. At the sight of that area, the sickening memories flashed before my eyes. It was like I was a little girl again, overwhelmed by the same terror I had felt during the abuse. The agonizing sensations consumed my mind and body, and I immediately set into a panic attack. It was terrifying because I felt like I was suffocating, out of control, with tears blurring my vision, all while I was driving. Triggers can be tricky because they can come up out of nowhere and then you just have to address them right then and there. I pulled over to calm myself and vowed I would never drive that road again. Still to this day, when I visit back home, panic starts creeping in when I’m getting close to that area and especially when I’m following the GPS and must swiftly correct my route to avoid that road. Sometimes, for triggers that can be avoided, that’s the best plan of action. It depends on the trigger, the survivor, and their desire of whether they want to try and conquer it or if it’s healthier for them to avoid it. Either way is completely valid and up to the survivor. For allies listening, if you know the locations abuse took place to a loved one, you could also experience triggers. My parents still to this day refuse to drive that road I was molested on. 

By my senior year of high school, I was so mentally beaten up by the years and years I had to endure the endless triggers in my environment, plus another huge one came to fruition. Thomas’ oldest daughter 3 years younger than me who I absolutely adored and thought of as my own little sister at the time of my abuse, would be going to the same high school as me now. I had immense anxiety in fear I would run into her. I didn’t know what pain she felt after I disclosed what her father had done to me. Of course, it massively impacted his family. The anxiety I felt of seeing her was complex. I felt extreme guilt knowing by disclosing the abuse I endured by her father, it inevitably disrupted her and her loved one’s lives. I empathized with her and how she was affected by what her father did. I didn’t know if she knew the truth or even if she did, did she believe it? I was fearful that she blamed me for what her family went through after her father was accused. And on top of that, what if she was being picked up from school by her mother or father and I happened to be around? This was the year that caused me to fully break down and finally seek out medical care for my anxiety disorder.

I wanted to share some of my personal experiences with triggers and anxiety to paint the picture of the variety of potential triggers, thoughts that go through the mind of a survivor experiencing anxiety and triggers, and how they can continue to affect survivors throughout their lives. For those listening that experience triggering moments, please don’t be discouraged if you never come to a time where they dissipate. If you can face them and heal, then that’s amazing, but some are too painful. If you can avoid the triggers, like my parents and I avoid the road I was molested on, then that could work great for you. If they’re unavoidable, like attending the same school as my abuser’s daughter, therapy and medical assistance can help a lot in reducing the effect of the trigger by utilizing coping mechanisms or medication.

Triggers are a huge cause of anxiety and panic attacks for survivors since they are directly related to the abuse that took place and blatantly remind the survivor of that abuse. But many survivors experience anxiety and panic attacks unexpectedly, where there wasn’t necessarily a trigger, but something, some situation, or environment caused a feeling of danger, dread, or uncertainty causing their limbic system to react in a similar way it would by an abuse-related trigger. This can cause a survivor to exist in a reality of constant hypervigilance, perpetually in anticipation of negative outcomes.

I am a survivor who experienced a perpetual state of anxiety, not only caused by abuse-related triggers, but by any perceived threat of a negative outcome. For me, and many survivors alike, this manifested into social anxiety and perfectionism, on top of all the triggered anxiety and panic attacks.

My experience with social anxiety throughout the years has caused me to miss out on opportunities, hide my true self, and seek to be as small as possible. Throughout school following my disclosure, I never raised my hand in class. I never went to the bathroom during class, in fear that others would look at me as I walked out of the room. I would experience extreme anxiety symptoms when I had to public speak or even contribute to classroom discussions. I remember for multiple English classes in high school where I would anticipate the horror of speaking during Socratic seminars. My stomach would ache, my hands and armpits would profusely sweat, my skin would turn pale, and I would feel like I was about to pass out. Many times, I knew my answers or contributions would be right or adequate, but I wouldn’t share because of the anxiety that would sweep over me. 

Many individuals who suffer from social anxiety and perfectionism tend to alter their personalities to appear quote on quote “perfect” according to the perceived expectations of their peers to be likable and accepted. Personally, I would dull my personality or act in a way to fit in with my peers instead of showing my true self in fear that I would be disliked, unlovable, and eventually abandoned. I thought society’s perception of perfect was the expectation for me to achieve, so of course I would mold myself into that perceived perfection. I think many young people struggle with something similar whether they have an anxiety disorder or not. My mindset now, after years of finding myself and healing, is I only want to show my true authentic self because I want to surround myself with people who appreciate my presence and accept me for who I am. I don’t want to be surrounded with people who like a version of me that I’ve manufactured in hopes to be accepted. For anyone listening, there ARE people out there that desire a friendship or relationship with someone like you! As cheesy as it sounds, you truly do bring something unique and valuable to the world. If you struggle with this, I encourage you to find the courage within you to unleash your authentic self and let the world admire the beauty and individuality you bring to it. 

I always strived to do my best and succeed, but perfectionism was brought into the picture when Thomas began to abuse me. Perfectionism was my way of feeling in control. My thought was if I was perfect, then I would be likable and accepted and in return I would receive love. Perfectionism was my way of controlling the way others perceived me. It was part of my trauma response. If I was perfect, I would be safe from abuse, abandonment, and betrayal, because I would meet the expectations of others causing them to like and accept me. I felt I HAD to meet those expectations, or I would certainly be a disappointment, a failure, unlovable, and eventually abandoned and betrayed. 

In high school, I had the most anxiety and panic attacks about getting straight A’s and taking all the honors or AP courses. My junior and senior years, I would cry pretty much daily due to my educational perfectionism. I struggled with English courses the most. I would procrastinate horribly on any papers I had to write. I couldn’t fathom drafting a paper, because it HAD to be perfect the first time. For many, many papers I was assigned, the due date for the draft would come, I’d stay up the whole night before staring at a blank paper, having panic attack after panic attack, crying, literally yanking on my hair, with horrible internal thoughts of the massive failure I was, how dumb I was, etc. Sometimes it would come to the point where I would have to take the next day off school because of the extreme panic state I was in that inhibited me from getting anything accomplished on my paper. I couldn’t dare go into class and have nothing to turn in. I would spend the whole day out of school in agony, internally expressing self-deprecating thoughts to myself, trying to write a paper that is now the most negligible thing.

This educational perfectionism continued into college. There was one time I was taking an important exam. I got stuck and ended up not finishing it in time due to the looping anxious thoughts inhibiting my ability to do the problems. After time was up for this 8am exam, the panic attack that began halfway through worsened, I went home and skipped all my other classes for the day due to falling asleep after crying for so long. 

I even developed an eating disorder coupled with excessive exercise in high school in an attempt to reach the physical expectations of society and, again, appear quote “perfect.”

I still to this day struggle with perfectionism. This podcast is definitely challenging my perfectionist side. Even while creating this episode, I wrote for hours and hours over days continually editing and perfecting it trying to balance the reality of anxiety through adversary stories versus hopeful stories, facts, and tangible tips to empower healing and hope. To be candid, I’m experiencing the struggle of striving to meet my inner expectation to be perfect and create perfect episodes because of the anxiety and fear of letting down my listeners. Through this endeavor, I am practicing coping mechanisms I’ve learned to combat my perfectionism and anxiety. One way is through reframing. For example, the anxiety and fear I’m experiencing is just my eager passion to create content that is empowering and educational. Perfect is not real; my intentions are what matter most. Authentic and intentional content will meet every goal of this podcast. I share this with you to show that healing and growing is an ongoing, lifelong process of utilizing and improving your coping skills to navigate through struggles and live an overall fulfilling life. 

I want to share some physical symptoms I experienced through the overwhelming social anxiety, perfectionism, and endless triggers I have struggled with to illustrate how anxiety physically manifests. 

Growing up, I constantly had stomach aches. To the point where my parents were at a loss of what to do. I’m sure they thought I had to of been making it up because it was that constant. I didn’t know stomach pain was a symptom of anxiety at the time and I bet my parents didn’t either. 

Throughout middle school, I struggled with severe perspiration or sweating. I know this doesn’t sound like the worst symptom, but it really affected me. I was incredibly self-conscious of my excessive armpit sweat to the point where I would buy every type of anti-perspirant deodorant I could find, I wouldn’t ever dare to wear gray shirts, and I would literally put panty liners in the armpit area of every shirt in hopes it would soak up some of the sweat. Like I mentioned, in high school, I struggled with disordered eating and excessive exercise causing a multitude of physical symptoms. And in college, I even got a bald spot on my head due to the stress I put on myself to achieve exceptional grades.

These are some examples of how anxiety has physically manifested for me but are definitely not limited to these. Check out the link in the episode description to find more resources on other physical symptoms.

If a survivor’s healing journey didn’t begin shortly after disclosing their abuse, they will eventually reach a breaking point where they will begin it. Many survivors delay their healing due to a multitude of reasons, some being the shame they feel around it, wanting it to just disappear, or the pain hurting too much to talk about it. Every survivor must make the decision to heal on their own timeline.

My junior and senior years of high school when I still hadn’t begun therapy yet or learned coping mechanisms were probably the most anxiety-inducing and painful periods for me.

So, 5 years after disclosing my abuse, at 17 years old, after enduring so much more pain from not healing from my abuse and the impacts continually worsening, I finally asked for help.

One night, I was up late having a panic attack and I had enough of it. I was at complete rock bottom, and I desperately needed help. I remember waking my parents up, sitting on their bed, and completely breaking down. They had witnessed some of the crying and outbursts over time, but they weren’t aware of the severity of it. This night I told them how much I had REALLY been struggling, how much additional suffering I was going through that they never saw, and I begged for help. They consoled me, told me how much they love and care for me, and ended up taking me to the doctor the next day. I disclosed my abuse, along with the impacts I had experienced, to my doctor who diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and prescribed medication to help. I was put on a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or SSRI class antidepressant called Fluoxetine or Prozac. Overtime, this medication increases levels of serotonin, which is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood. This medication significantly helped me get through the rest of high school and through college. Of course, just like many other medications, it wasn’t a complete fix, I still had a lot of healing to do, but I was able to manage the anxiety enough to finally start therapy, begin to heal and learn coping mechanisms. After college, with a medical professional, I decided to stop taking the medication because I worked hard to naturally increase my serotonin levels by focusing on nutrition, sleep, exercise, and coping skills to the point where believed I would be able to manage my anxiety through the healing I did, the change of my environment that eliminated so many of my triggers, and the continued therapy I would be going through as well. I’ve been off my medication for about a year and a half now and I’ve had less than 10 panic attacks in that span of time compared to the weekly panic attacks I was having in high school. Healing is in NO way linear. Healing journeys are for a lifetime; they are called journeys because they aren’t a quick fix, they take time and there will be ups and downs. It is a journey of personal change and development. In the case of anxiety caused by sexual trauma, a survivor’s brain has literally been altered and healing it will cause a great deal of time to create new brain pathways and then maintain those pathways over a lifetime. When you think about what healing requires, there’s no way it can be expected to be linear or instantaneous. 

My healing journey truly began at 17 when I finally admitted I needed help and began taking medication which led to therapy and so on. I’m 23 now, and still having countless ups and downs on my healing journey, and I can only expect to continue having ups and downs as I strive to become the best version of myself and heal from the years of direct abuse as well as impacts the abuse has had on me as an individual, my personality, my perception of the world, etc. Some may perceive me as being completely healed because I am able to be vulnerable and I’m choosing to share my experiences with the world, but I am indeed still healing, learning, and growing like everyone striving to live a better life is. 

For example, just 3 months ago I went to Hawaii with a group of friends, which was magical by the way, and at one point we were sitting together outside next to a bar playing music. They started playing “Just The Way You Are” by Bruno Mars. When I was being abused from ages 9-13, my abuser would tell me that song was exactly how he felt about me. Now that song is still a massive trigger for me. Immediately as the song began, sitting next to my friends in the dreamiest place, anxiety began to infiltrate my body. I abruptly stood up, went to the bathroom, and let out some tears as I started my breathing exercises to halt the panic attack developing inside of me. After a few minutes of breathing, the panic dissipated, I returned to the table with my friends, and enjoyed the rest of my day. In the past, this incidence likely would’ve consumed my mind and ruined my whole day. This is what I’m talking about when I say healing journeys are not linear, you will still probably struggle to some extent with triggers and other impacts, but as I’ve illustrated through this example, the difference in what the journey to heal can have on your quality of life is considerable. 

So as promised, I am going to share some of my coping mechanisms I’ve learned throughout the years that have significantly reduced my experience with anxiety and panic attacks.

There are two avenues I want to go down. 

The first is what I’ll call instant coping mechanisms. Skills and tools to utilize when one is already in an anxiety induced state or panic attack. The second is what I’ll call maintenance coping mechanisms. Strategies and habits that once initiated can greatly reduce general anxiety and if maintained, will continue to put one in a less anxiety inducing reality.

Starting with instant coping mechanisms, I will mention 2 that have immensely helped me, but they are not limited to these. 

My go to coping mechanism to use in a state of panic is breathing. As I mentioned before, many panic attacks consist of looping or spiraling thoughts, shortness of breath, elevated heart rate, and tight chest. By focusing on your breath, you can shift the focus to your body instead of the thoughts in your mind, preventing the continuation of looping or spiraling thoughts. The shortness of breath comes from the body attempting to take in more oxygen using chest breathing which results in quicker breaths. This increase in breathing can cause a sudden drop in carbon dioxide in the blood which can lead to less oxygen able to get to the brain, worsening the panic attack. To combat this, you can use diaphragmatic or belly breathing. Place one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. Breathe in. Does your chest or your belly move? If your belly moves, you are belly breathing. If your chest moves, you are chest breathing. Belly breathing helps to bring air all the way to the bottom of your lungs causing your breath to elongate and gives the body the most efficient access to oxygen, as opposed to chest breathing which only allows the tops of your lungs to fill, resulting in quicker breaths, and less access to oxygen. Additionally, when the body identifies panic or fear, adrenaline is released which causes an elevated heart rate and tightened chest. Breathing exercises activate the parasympathetic nervous system which is responsible for rest, by stimulating your vagus nerve. Once activated, your body begins to enter rest mode, slowing your heart rate, and loosening your chest. The main thing to focus on when breathing is to breathe long, full into the belly breaths, and continue doing that until you feel relief, maybe a slower heart rate, loosened up chest, or your breathing becomes more natural. There are several types of breathing exercises. My favorite is breathing in through your nose for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds, then exhaling for 8 seconds. Let’s try it once together cause why not. Breathe in, 1,2,3,4. Hold for 7,6,5,4,3,2,1. And breathe out for 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8. In general, I like to think of breathing out twice as long as it took to breathe in.

The other coping mechanism I’ve found to help me in the midst of panic attack is increasing my sensory awareness of my surroundings or grounding myself. This can be naming out loud what I see, the quantity of something I see, the color, the smell, what I feel. For example, when I’m feeling anxious, I would verbally speak what my senses are picking up on. “I see a couch that is brown. There are 5 green plants. I am sitting on a chair that feels soft. I smell a eucalyptus candle.” Etc. By focusing your awareness on the most present moment, gathering information from your senses and speaking it out loud, it will force your brain to think of what you’re saying rather than the looping, spiraling thoughts. By using your voice, you will be stimulating that vagus nerve again and it will force you to breathe slower in order to vocalize the words leading to eventually slowing down your breath, slowing down your heart rate, and so on. Continue grounding, focusing on your immediate surroundings, until your anxious symptoms are relieved. 

Like I said, these two techniques have helped me SO many times when I am already in an anxious or panicked state, so I encourage anyone listening who also experiences anxiety to give them a try! These techniques can also help if you’re feeling stressed. By pausing, and either breathing or grounding, once you return to whatever task you were completing, you will be in a more calm state which will reduce your stress. If you do try these techniques, I would be overjoyed if you let me know how they worked for you! Before I move on to maintenance coping mechanisms, I want to mention a little about dealing with the aftermath of being relieved by the symptoms of anxiety attacks. Sometimes, I’ve found that I’m totally fine afterwards and other times I have found it helpful to find a healthy distraction to really get me out of that anxious state. When I was younger, I would always watch puppy videos or other cute and happy videos to feel better. Now I like to exercise, shower, cook a healthy meal, or read a book after an anxiety inducing moment. If you are at work or school or somewhere that is less flexible, take a short walk, maybe to the restroom. Do some stretches. Listen to a song that makes you feel good. Sometimes, it’s necessary to spend a little extra time caring for yourself after a moment like that. 

Alright, now on to the maintenance coping mechanisms I like to use. These are habits and strategies to keep you centered, and proactively reduce anxiety that could potentially come. 

My go to is journaling. I have been journaling on and off since about 16 years old. The reason journaling helps so many people who struggle with anxiety is because it is a way for one to physically release their looping anxious thoughts out of their minds and let them go. By writing things out, you can more easily reflect on your thoughts to determine, hmm do I resonate and align with that thought or was that my anxiety talking? Is this true or can I let this go? Everyone, especially those with anxiety disorders, have so many thoughts going through their minds every day. According to the Cleveland Clinic, the average person processes 70,000 thoughts per day! No wonder it can get overwhelming and confusing in your mind sometimes. Journaling is a way to organize your thoughts and make them a little less overwhelming and confusing. Another bonus is you can always reference back to old journal entries to reminisce, remember, or reflect on how much you’ve grown. You can write it out on paper, type it on your computer, or even write notes in your phone. So whether you struggle with an anxiety disorder or not, I highly recommend journaling! 

Another impactful maintenance coping mechanism is general active living. This can look so many ways. It could be going to the gym, playing a sport, going on walks or hikes, doing yoga, the list goes on and on. Whatever gets your body up and moving on a consistent basis will work. Physical activity causes your brain to release endorphins, which are your feel-good neurotransmitters! It is well known that physical activity has so many benefits, too many for me to cover all in this episode. But in general, when one is feeling good, they will also feel less anxious. Also, during the chosen activity, your thoughts are focused on that activity, making it harder for you to cultivate anxious thoughts. It’s a win-win all around. 

There are countless more coping mechanisms that can be utilized to reduce anxiety. If anyone listening has other coping mechanisms that have helped you, reach out and let me know! I’d love to hear about them and maybe share them in future episodes! Saprea that I mentioned at the beginning of the episode has loads of information on other coping mechanisms and healing resources if you’re interested! The link to Saprea is in the episode description.

Along with coping mechanisms, I wholeheartedly believe in therapy. Therapy helps you learn and become proficient in your coping mechanisms, as well as being a vocalized way of journaling. Therapists are professionally trained to understand the mind, and with that education as well as a non-biased perspective, they can objectively analyze individuals and their experiences to guide them in their life with whatever they are struggling with. I have gone through years of individual therapy and multiple group therapies specifically for survivors, which have helped immensely. 

If you are a survivor or anyone who suffers from anxiety, please know that it can be treated. It might not ever go away 100%, but in my experience, it has decreased incredibly significantly. It is not controlling my life anymore. When it happens to arise, I know how to handle it and cope, and it ends much sooner than it used to. Hold on to hope! Don’t give up on your healing journey. It’s not easy and it’s not always fun, but it is SO worth it and you will thank yourself in the future when you are able to reflect on how much you’ve healed, learned, and grown.